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| A whole lot of this. |
After weeks of being excited about going to hang out with some
medicine men in the Amazon, the trip Stefan and I had been planning
fell through at the last minute. Such is life, right? So instead of going to Rurrenabaque, where this supposed isolated tribe lived near
(thing is, it turned out they weren’t so isolated), we headed in
the other direction, toward Santa Cruz, destined for a town called
Buena Vista.
We hopped on a bus destined for Santa Cruz, paid the driver to
pull over as he passed the town, and strolled into Buena Vista around
5am. After waiting a couple of hours for the town to wake up, we
found "Limber", a local guide. We negotiated a rate for a
weekend jungle excursion, he helped us find a place to stay for the
day and night, and by lunchtime we were clean and rested. Since we
weren’t leaving until the next morning, we killed the day by
exploring the town and hiking to a hotel located on a coffee
plantation seven or so kilometres outside of town. It was a far way
to go for a good cup of coffee, but the views there proved Buena
Vista was not an ironic name for this location. We headed to Limber’s
place that night (which was an auto garage...turned out he is a
mechanic as well) to get some supplies, had a few beers in town, and
hit the hay early, ready for an early morning.
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| The jungle was in tents |
And that’s when Murphy beat us up with his law book. It started
off great...Limber picked us up, we rolled through the SERNAP offices
(park rangers, essentially) for permission to camp in the jungle, had
the car parked and were hiking into the unknown before 10 am. Prior
to the trip, we were warned of the amount of mosquitoes. [
I’ll
openly admit, though I have been taking every bit of advice since
we’ve been given in Bolivia seriously, but I simply took these
warnings in stride. I thought, “Ha! I’m from Missouri, it’s so
humid there, I know mosquitoes...” blah blah blah. I’ve never
felt dumber. Not that we didn’t have bug spray, we had plenty of
it. I’ve just never been more wrong in my life, and I’ve been
wrong too many times to count. Luckily, these thoughts were
internalized until right at this moment...don’t judge.]
Boy were those warnings warranted! There were times in that
initial hike that the mosquitoes were so numerous, I couldn’t look
at or see anything else. We did, however, see some monkeys high up in
the trees every now and then...unfortunately, none of them came close
enough for us to take a decent picture or for me to try and steal one
and bring home. Hiking along the banks of a river for a few hours,
being eaten alive by the mosquitoes and dodging the biggest webs of
the biggest spiders I have ever seen, we finally arrived at where was
to be our home for the weekend. Limber pointed out a spot for our
tent in the open woods, and he went around the corner toward an open,
overhanging rock face, where he was to pitch his tent, and where our
fire for the weekend would be built. We settled in for a bit and were
back out for a hike in the afternoon; this time without bags, just
cameras in our hands and a massive machete in Limber’s.
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| Gross. |
We followed him as he blazed a trail by hacking through an
incredible variety of foliage, until we reached another river on the
other side of a bluff from where camp was. As we were hiking, Limber
spotted tiger cub footprints. Our initial reaction: “Cool!” Our
second reaction: “Where’s the mom?” Upon posing the second
question, Limber’s eyes widened, he held his finger up to his lips
and told us to be quiet...then motioned for us to follow him. A bit
further down the river, we saw more cub prints. Apparently we had
begun tracking a tiger cub and his mom, and all I can think is, “We
only have one machete and a couple of cameras. What a great idea this
is.” At this point, my brain was multi-tasking on a few things:
concentrating on not slipping on the mossy rocks and falling in the
river; dodging what is sure to be life threatening, hand sized
spiders; and listening for what is sure to be the impending tiger
attack. It was very stressful.
After doing this dance for a bit, we all stopped to sit still, be
quiet, and listen. Another brilliant tactic...make the tiger think we
aren’t there so when it meanders down to the river for a drink, it
gets a nice surprise when it sees three fleshy human beings waiting
for it. As it is, the tiger never showed up. We decided to head back
to camp before the sun went down. My brain was still doing the
multi-tasking dance and I guess it was too much for the ole’
cranium to handle. With camera and lens in hand and another lens
strapped to my hip, I tried to negotiated a particularly tricky spot
with significantly slippery rocks. Gravity had better ideas and
before I knew it, my footing was gone, the rug was taken out, and I
was hitting water. Luckily, I instinctively threw my camera holding
hand in the air. This was a good move, be it that I saved my
camera...though in doing so I sacrificed my back and leg, both of
which took the brunt of the fall against the rocks. Then I realized I
still had the other lens on my hip and it took the plunge with me.
Quickly, I scrambled out of the water, ripped the lens out of the
pouch it was in, and franticly shook it to dry it out. Without
anything else, we wrapped it in a bandana and hoped for the best.
Only when the ordeal was over is when I realized how much my body
hurt from the fall and how much my leg was bleeding. But, with no
other choice, we soldiered on. When we got back to camp, I doused my
leg in disinfectant and wrapped it. My lens got another thorough
drying and was placed in a plastic bag with silica gel packs (I’m
lucky we thought to bring them with us). Limber whipped up some
dinner for us, we ate sitting on rocks like cavemen, and by 8pm, with
nothing else to do and exhaustion killing us, it was time for bed,
looking forward to another fun filled day.
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| A tiger cub's little footprint. |
Not without more fun in the middle of the night. Around 1am, the
heavens opened up and it started raining buckets. With no rain fly on
our tent, Stefan and I had to throw our ponchos on top. This move
didn’t suffice, and everything inside of the tent was quickly
becoming saturated. With no other choice, we decided the best course
of action was to move all of our things to the rock face, where the
ground was a lot harder but at least there was protection from the
rain. This was a good idea but with bad results. We moved our packs
first...and I suppose I’ll let Stefan tell this part...
The ground was slightly uneven to the side of Limber’s tent
and I was wearing flip-flops. I passed around it in a hurry and my
balance was slightly off so I reached out to steady myself against
the rocky overhang. Immediately as I placed my right hand against the
rock surface I felt a sharp stab in the fleshy corner close to my
wrist. I yelped and looked at my hand but couldn't see anything, and
then my it began to burn. I doubled over in pain clasping my hand.
The whole of my right hand was enveloped in a firey burning
sensation. I can see Mike looking confused as he asks me, “Are you
ok, what's up?” I said, “I don't know, I touched the rock and now
my hand is burning, I think maybe I spiked it on something.” But as
he shone his head lamp and we both inspected my hand there was no
mark. No red welt, or cut, or bruise, or anything, just that my hand
felt like it was on fire.
We were both standing there utterly confused. I'm in almighty
pain with nothing to show for it, and Mike's looking at me like,
“What the hell?” And then he stepped back and said, “Dude, it's
on you.” “What?” I replied. “Dude it's on you man, look.” I
looked down. Crawling down the right hand side of my stomach was a
large brown insect. I paused and thought maybe it was a stick insect.
And then I saw its two white crab-like claws reflecting in the light.
And then I panicked. Mike is still telling me, “Dude it's on you,”
and I started screaming, “Get it off me!” The conversation went
something like this for about two minutes:
“
Dude, it's on you man.”
“
Get it off me!”
“
No, I don't wanna get stung.”
“
Fuckin' get it off meeeeeeeeeee!”
I danced on the spot like a epileptic convulsing and shaking my
t-shirt trying to get this bug off me. Said bug at this point
casually saunters along my body and down my leg. As it reached mid
way along my thigh I can really see its curled up tail and that it is
indeed a scorpion. I don't think I could have panicked, screamed or
shook any harder or louder until finally the damn thing was off me
and running along the floor into the darkness.
I could now see my hand swelling in front of my very eyes. The
burning pain was also now traveling along the length of my right arm
and into my arm pit. I don't do jungle. I come from a rain swept
island off the coast of Europe, where the nastiest thing mother
nature can throw at you is mad cow disease. The most dangerous thing
in my corner of the island is feral teenagers, and at least I'd have
seen them coming.
I didn't know any better, I honestly thought all scorpions were
deadly and that my number was up. I stood there and did the maths in
my head. It was a easily a three hour hike in the dark to the car,
then maybe a two hour drive to civilization. God knows how long there
after to find a hospital. I felt dizzy, sat down on a rock and looked
at my giant burning hand. I wish I could say I was cool about it but
instead as I sat there my eyes welled up and I quietly leaked a few
tears, thinking, “Great, so this is how it ends.”
Limber had been busying himself helping to move our stuff. As
he came back I showed him my hand. Through the power of mime and
broken Spanish we told him what had happened. He barely raised an
eyebrow. Through the power of mime and the grasp of the odd key word
he basically told me “Yeah it's going to hurt for a while, you'll
probably feel it in you armpit too.” I asked if it was fatal.
“Nah,” he replied, “just annoying.”
So that was fun. We dried our stuff and the inside of the tent and
tucked in...again. I slept ok, though I can’t say the same for
Stefan.
Funny enough, the next day wasn’t as event filled. Stefan was
feeling better by midday, so we headed out for another hike down a
different river. There was more green, slippery rocks to be
negotiated, and I was extra careful. Though there were lots of slips
had, no complete falls occurred. The environment was harsh and the
day was extra humid from the nights’ rain, but our eventual
destination was one of the coolest sights I have ever seen. Walking
up this river, one can hear an ominous waterfall sound, though can
never see the source until the end is reached. When the final corner
is turned, a (what I would estimate) 75 foot waterfall reveals
itself. It is located in a circular, woody grotto and the only place
to go from there is up, to see where this waterfall originates.
With no possibility of climbing the sheer rock face to see this,
we could only admire the beauty of the falling water surrounded by
the jungle’s greenery. We were incredibly exhausted, but the
opportunity to swim in such a location was too great to pass up, so
fully clothed, we all hopped in the freezing cold water (sans
cameras, I might add). Standing under the waterfall was painful and
incredible at the same time. It was a well deserved break from hiking
and totally worth the brutal environment to see. Unfortunately, the
lens that took a bath with me the day prior was my wide angle lens,
so I don’t have any good shots of the place, though Stefan was able
to capture a few good ones. After staying in this location for about
half an hour, we hiked back down the same path in which we came,
stopped occasionally to try and get a shot or two of huge blue
butterflies that seemed to be everywhere, and were back at camp by
sundown. Limber made dinner again (at this point I’ll say that the
dude really knew how to make good camping food...he had been working
in this role for 15 years, and he’s only 34) and we ate like
Neanderthals again. We again tucked in around 8pm with exhaustion
dominating us.
 |
| Large waterfall. The white blob to the left is Stefan. |
It rained harder the second night. Luckily, we had rain protection
from the rock overhang and there was no reason to venture out of the
tent where more scorpions were certainly waiting for Stefan. By early
the next morning, it was still raining hard and we woke with the
knowledge that we had to hike back to the truck. We were not looking
forward to this as we were both sore from sleeping on rock and
getting our asses kicked by the jungle. But, we had no choice. The
river was already higher and running faster from two night of rain
and if we waited any longer, it may have become impassible. So, we
packed up and headed out. With our heads hung low from the exhaustion
that didn’t seem to go away, the mosquitoes and terrifying spiders
didn’t carry as much of a presence as they had a few days prior.
The hike went by without any real incident, outside of waist high
river fording and Stefan taking a mini spill. We got to the truck by
10am and were heading back to civilization.
We thought our troubles were over...but then we ran into a road
block. Apparently the citizens (all ten of them) of this little
pueblo thought the road was impassible and forced us to wait two
hours until they deemed it safe. After being allowed to pass, we
didn’t see anything on the road worth blocking it over. But, at
this point, all we could do was roll our eyes. When we finally got
back to Buena Vista, Limber took us to his place so we could shower
up before heading to the bus. His wife and kid were home, and she was
nice enough to make us lunch as well. When we were ready, the family
even drove us to the next town over to catch a car to Santa Cruz, so
we could then get a bus headed to Cochabamba. We purchased tickets in
the Santa Cruz terminal, hung around for about an hour, then promptly
passed out in our seats when we boarded the overnight coach. We were
headed home and our troubles were NOW over. Kind of.
Around 4am, when the bus was an hour outside of Cochabamba, the
engine broke down. A brief look out of the window told us we were
somewhere in the mountains. Without speaking to each other, Stefan
and I seemed to reach the same conclusion...and that was, “I’m
going back to sleep and I’ll deal with this when I wake up.”
About two and a half hours later, we stirred right in time for the
back up bus to show up. We switched coaches, rode into Cochabamba,
and were walking into our apartment with a few hours to spare before
lunchtime.
So, not so much a Joseph Conrad novel...but certainly an
experience. I can’t say the same for Stefan, but I actually would
go back. Though, I’d make sure I’d be better prepared!
Thanks
Mike